2009年5月27日 星期三
Notes of Influence (2)
-“Nothing is more costly than sth given free of charge.”
- When a $20 check was send along with the questionnaire, 78% of physicians filled it out and send it back. When the $20 check was promised to arrive after the questionnaire was completes and sent in, only 66% followed through. Of the physicians who receiving the $20 check who did fill out the questionnaire, 95% cashed the check.
Applying the law
- Create a need/ obligation in the mind of other person.
Create a greater sense of obligation: service of some sort, information / concessions, secrets, favors, gestures, compliments, smiles, gifts, invitations, attention, time.
- “When pre-giving is perceived as a bribe/pressure tactic, it actually decreases compliance” Perceived as an unselfish act.
- “You know, I got to thinking about what you said, and you’re really right.”
- Offering the gift before and not during negotiation is of prime importance, or your token will come across as bribery.
- Whether your recipient likes or wants your gift or not, the psychological need to reciprocate will take root, increasing the likelihood that your request will be met affirematively.
The secret of secrets
- When you share sth personal/private with another person, you creat an instant bond & sense of obligation and trust with them. “Off the record, I think you should know…”, “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but…”
- Be extra careful not to plead and beg for your prospects to open up. Let them know you truly care & have a desire to know out of genuine concern, not curiosity, Pleading quickly becomes a red flag that shows your prospects you just want to know the juicy details rather than having any real desire to help them.
Connectivity – contagious cooperation
Attraction, similarity, people skills, rapport.
- Attitude of sincerity
Attraction: The halo effect
- ppl auto-ly associate traits of kindness, trust and intelligence with ppl who are attractive.
- If your audience likes you, they will forgive you for your “wrongs” and remember your “rights”
- Studies show that ppl who are physically attractive are better able to persuade others.
- A defendanr who was better looking than his victim was assessed an average fine of $5623, but when the victim was the more attractive of the 2, the average compensation was twice that much. Both female/male jurors showed the same bias.
- Men who saw a new car ad that included a seductive female model rated the car as faster, more appealing, more expensive looking and better desined than did men who viewed the same ad without the model.
Similarity
- Familiar
- We like people who are similar to us.
- “People buy from people they like.”
- “Cliques were typically centered on commonalities of race, geographical origin, and the types of crime committed.
- Thinking style, moral views, background, appearance.
- First impressions are made within only 4 mins of initial interaction with a stranger.”
Goodwill
- “We consider as friends those who wish good things for us and who are pained when bad things happen to us.”
- Caring&kindness: being sensitive and thoughtful.
- Acting with consideration, politeness, civility and genuine concern for those around us. Foundation for all interactions and creates a mood og reciprocity.
- X harsh/forceful when other person is sensitive or vulnerable.
Bonding
- Immediate bond with ppl is by using and remembering their names.
Humor
- Gain you attention, help you create rapport, make your message more memorable, relieve tension, enhance relationships, motivate ppl, soften up or disarm listeners.
- If you are generally not good at telling jokes, don’t attempt it when you are in a persuade situation. Non-funny humor is not only ineffective but irritating.
Smile
- generate a great first impression, shows happiness, acceptance, confidence
- in turns becomes more interested in meeting you.
Respect
- In order for yr audience to take your msg, they have to have some lv of resp[ect for you. The more they respect you, the more successful you’ll be.
- Show gratitude: be thankful for what others do for you.
- Never criticize others or talk abt your problems.
- How others feel about you is often influenced by how you make them feel abt themselves.
Rapport
- Tangible and harmonious
- Being on the same wavelength with the other ppl.
- Rapport can exist between 2 ppl who share very few similarities.
Body language
- Facial expressions, body movement, vocal cues, proxemics
Eyes:
- “The eyes of men converse as much as their tongues”
- “The eyes are the windows to the soul.”
- Gauge the truthfulness, intelligence, attitude, feelings
- When a person is aroused, interested, and receptive, the pupil dilate.: to allow the entry of more light/ more info.
- We often distrust a person wearing sunglasses: use of sunglasses is a direct attempt to hide the eyes in fear that they will reveal the truth.
- Making eye contact: convey love/ passion
- Leaning close: interest & comfort
- Leaning away: discomfort with the facts/person
- Nodding: interest, agreement and understanding
- Relexed posture: openness to communicate
- Hand to cheek: evaluating or considerating
- Sitting with hands clasped behind head: arrogance or superiority
- Tapping/drumming fingers: impatience/annoyance
- Steepling finger: closing off/ creating barrier
- Fidgeting: boredom, nervousness or impatience
- Clutching objects tightly: anxiety/ nervous anticipation
- Chin stroke: deep thinking/ intently listening
Touch
- Be aware and careful of a small % of the population who dislikes being touched in any way.
- Safe area: shoulders, forearms, hands, sometimes the upper back.
Mirroring and matching
- Mirror/ reflect their actions, not to imitate them.: see you as phony and no longer trust you.
- Just mirror/ match the overall tone & demeanor of your prospect. Safely mirror their language, posture, gestures and mood.
Mirroring Language:
- effectiveness of using vocabulary/lingo similar to your prospect.
- Pick up on and use some of the words or phrases that your prospect uses.
- Mirror rate of speech
Matching breathing
- Match the breathing pattern
- Observe the rise / fall of chest/shoulders (use peripheral vision)
Matching voice
- Actual tone
- Minor ad subtle adjustments in tone.
Mirroring mood
Matching energy level
Breaking the mirror
- Create anciety/uneasiness in a witness, create distance
- Breaks the synchronization that makes everyone feel calm and comfortable
Social Validation: Social pressure
- Make fewer mistakes when we follow the social norm
- We go against our better judgment becoz we want to be liked, accepted and found in agreement with everyone else.
- When we are part of a crowd, we no longer feel individually responsible for our emotions or actions.
- In churches, the moral code determines the standard behavior acceptable for the groups. In organizations, the bylaws and years of tradition establish a standard operating procedure. We want to fit into these groups and maintain our membership with them, we conform our actions to the norm.
- When we find ourselves in a foreign situation where we feel awkward or unsure of how to act, we look for those social cues that will dictate our behavior.
Professional audience members
- “gang syndrome”
- “canned laughter”
Darkside of social Validation
- When we find ourselves in groups, there is a diffusion of responsibility
- When there are large no. of ppl involved, we tend to assume someone else will respond and take action first, or we might conclude that our help is not really needed.
- “bystander apathy”
- “de-indivduation”: become less self-aware and less concerned with how others will evaluate us. Feel more anonymous and less individually responsible for our actions
- “De-individuation” leads to antisocial behavior.
- Social validation: conformity/groupthink
- Susceptibility to peer pressure and the opinions of others in the group.
- The more respect we feel for the group, the more their opinions with those of the group, the more their opinions matter to us, and therefore the more we feel pressured to align our own opinions with those of the group. Even when we don’t really agree with the group, we will often go along with the group in order to be rewarded instead of punished or liked instead of scorned.
- Conforming because: you believe everyone else is correct, you fear the social rejection of not going along, it’s norm, cultural influences.
1. The larger the group, the better.
The larger the group, the more ppl will conform
2. The greater the familiarity, the better.
The more a person can identify with the group, the more that person will be influenced to change their behavior and opinions.
3. The clearer the principle of social validation, the better.
Scarcity
- Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.
- Bidding
- Potatoes
- We don’t want to miss out on anything we could have had.
- Physical products, time, information, price, knowledge.
Threat of potential loss
- Reactance causes us to be emotional, single minded or irrational.
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2009年5月18日 星期一
Notes of Influence
personal character of the speaker, eg. body type, height, movement,expertise, word choice, eye contact, vocal quality, etc.
- "ethos is not a thing or a quality but an interpretation that is the product of the speaker-audience interaction"
Pathos:-
Psychological state of the audience. The psychological/emotional state of the listener can affect persuaion.
-Our judgement when we are pleased & friendly is not the same as when we are pained &hostile.
- Important to know both the individual's actual state of mind/desired state of mind.
Logos:-
Substance of a message, logic presented to provide proof to the listener.
- No. of people
- Critical to know how to adapt quickly to your audience’s need, wants, fears and desires.
- Research & read your audience
- Human nature is as varied as the colour of rainbow Human actions & thoughts are never perfectly predictable because each of us has different emotions, attitudes, beliefs, personalities and traints
- Pyramid:
Long Term
Commitment: Respect, Honor, Trust
Coorperation: Convince, Encourage, Coax
Coercion: Pressure, manipulate, intimidate
Control: Force, Fear, Threats
Short Term
MOST of us have a systematic way of looking at the world. When this mode is operating, our minds are perfectly primed to automatically respond to persuasion triggers.
Professor of Psychology Gregopry Neidert estimates that our brains actually run on idle 90~95% of he time. Thinking is hard work. It is human nature to conserve cognitive energy. Thinking burns 3 times as many calories as watching TV
Main reasons we choose not to think:
1. The amout of information available is so overwhelming we don’t even attempt to digest any of it.
2. Our decisions simply aren’t weighty enough to warrant the effort of researching all the available information we receive, we selectively choose what we will acknowledge and what we will ignore.
We love shortcuts to thinking.
A. Dissonance – Internal Pressure
- Theory of Cognitive Dissonance: Leon Festinger at Stanford University in 1957
- Most of us feel more hamony in our lives when everythings is consistent. Consistency is the glue that holds everything in our lives together, thereby allowing us to cope with the world.
- When people behave in amanner that is inconsistent with these cognitions, they find themselves in a state of discomfort. In such an uncomfortable state, they’ll naturally be inclined to adjust their behaviors or attitudes to regain mental & emotional consistency. When our beliefs, attitudes and actions mesh, we live harmoniously. When they don’t, we feel dissonance at some level – feeling awkward, uncomfortable, unsettled, disturbed, upset, nervous, or confused. In order to eliminate or reduce such tension, we will do everything possible to change our attitude & behavior, even if it means doing something we don’t want to do.
- We seek psycho-emotional stasis at all times.
Methods of protecting mental consistency
1. Denial: deny problems. Ignoring/demeaning the source of information
“This is just the media going after him. He is doing a great job, so the opposing party is trying to smear his good name. This will all blow over when the facts come out. It’s all just a big misunderstanding.”
2. Modification: Change existing cognitions to achieve consistency. –involves admitting you were wrong & making changes to remedy your errors.
“I cant’s believe I voted for this guy. I feel swindled and taken advantages of. I really mistook him for a man of character. I need to apologize to my family and friends. I cannot support a man who does not honor his wedding vows.”
3. Reframing: Change your understanding/interpretation of the meaning. Modify your own thinking or devalue the importance of he whole matter, considering it unimportant altogether.
Media said affair. Well, I’m sure he didn’t actually sleep with her. Maybe they’re just good friends. I’m sure his wife knew all about he whole thing. Even if they did have an affair, who doesn’t? Is it that big of a deal?”
4. Search: Determined to find a flaw in the other side’s position, to discredit the source, and to seek social/ evidentiary support for your own viewpoint. –Attempt to convince the source of his error/convince others you did the right thing.
“I’ve heard about the reporter breaking this story. He’s blown things out of proportion before. All the friends I’ve talked to don’t think the story is true. In fact, this reporter has been against the mayor from the time he became a candidate. I’m going to call the reporter right now.”
5. Separation: separate the attitudes that are in conflict.-What happens in one areas of your life should not affect he other areas of your life.
“I voted for him and he is doing a great job. Inflation is low, unemployment is not a problem, and crime has been reduced. He is doing everything he said he would. It doesn’t matter what he does in his private life. What matters is how he is doing his job. There is no connection between an affair and his job performance.”
6. Rationalization: Find excuse for why the inconsistency is acceptable. Change expectations/ try to alter what really happened. You find reasons to justify your behavior or your opinions.
“Well, his wife is cold to him and she’s never around when he needs her. She’s never really supported him since he took office. After all, she still has her own business. Maybe this is just a marriage of convenience and this relationship is part of their agreement.”
Maintaining Psychological Consistency
In politics, members of dif. Parties will refuse to peaceably / tolerantly listen to opposing party commercials.
Smokers won’t read articles about the dangers of smoking.
Drug users don’t spend much time at clinics.
WE DON’T WANT to find information that might oppose our current points of view.
Using Dissonance to create action
Most people try to follow through when they promise they will do some thing, especially if it is in writing.
Foot in the Door: “sequential request”: Using a person’s self-perception to motivate her to partake of the desired action.
FITD Technique:
1. Small commitments
2. Written commitments
3. Public commitments
Key points:
1. The first request: need to be “of sufficient size for the FITD technique to work.
2. Your Prospect’s viewpoint: Prospect senses.
3. External Incentives:
4. Source of the request
Three Steps to using FITD
Step 1: Get a commitment: PAVE
Public
Affirmative
as many “yes” answers as possible.-> develop consistency within the person that will carry over into your major request.
Voluntary
“Are you serious? Do you really mean that?”
Effortful
The more effort and public the commitment is, the more commitment it will create down the line.
Step 2: Create Dissonance
Commitment: create the dissonance
Final solution / major request is what you ultimately want to accomplish.
Step3: Offer a solution: Solution=call to action
2009年5月17日 星期日
Words of day(18/5/2009)
名詞
1. 修辭;修辭學;修辭學著作
2. 雄辯(術);辯才
3. 辭令,言語
o Despite their tough anti-American rhetoric, the government is privately trying to maintain good relations with the U.S.. 儘管他們發表強硬的反美言論,政府仍試圖私下與美國保持良好關係。
4. 【貶】花言巧語,浮誇之詞
英文字典
rhetoric
*
1. If you refer to speech or writing as rhetoric, you disapprove of it because it is intended to convince and impress people but may not be sincere or honest. disapproval
2. Rhetoric is the skill or art of using language effectively. formal
ethos ['iːθɒs]
名詞
1. 社會(或民族等)的精神特質
2. 性格;氣質
英文字典
ethos
1. An ethos is the set of ideas and attitudes that is associated with a particular group of people or a particular type of activity.
pathos [p'eɪθɒs]
名詞
1. (文學或音樂作品、演講)激起憐憫(或同情等)的因素;感傷力
o The play is notable for the pathos of its final scene. 該劇以最後一場的哀婉動人而著稱。
2. 【罕】痛苦
英文字典
pathos
1. Pathos is a quality in a situation, film, or play that makes people feel sadness and pity.
logos [l'oʊɡoʊ]
名詞
1. 理法
2. 【哲】理性
3. 宇宙法則
Aristotle : 3 means of persuasion 1. ethos, 2. pathos, 3. logos